Way Too Long

Okay, so I haven't had a new post in way too long, but that's mainly because we haven't had internet, but know we do, so here is a short new post.

Short because not a whole lot has happened since November.

About a month ago, Evan lost his job. He had been there for 11 years. His one and only job.

It has been hard, considering I haven't been at my job for a year yet and am not making that much money. We have been working hard on getting out of debt, and this has put a kink in our plans a bit. Hopefully something will come up soon.

In the meantime, we have been taking advantage of the temple on my days off. We have been trying to go every week. It has been nice to spend this time together, plus we have had some family names to take as well, which is always a cool experience.

I am still at Target. I love it! I have great supervisors that genuinely want me to move up, so that has been helpful.

We are still working on the baby thing. It's kinda on the backburner now with Evan not working, but a goal at somepoint.

Evan's dad has had quite an eventful few months. He went in the hospital for a sore on his toe and then...BAM... He was in long term.

He had a toe amputated, went into total kidney failure, got a really bad staph infection, pneumonia, etc. The doctors told us to have family nearby because it probably wouldn't be long.

Amazingly he has overcome all of it and is at home now. He had to go to a care center for a week or so, but is home now. He has to have dialysis three times a week, but overall, he's doing good.

Other than that, I am just trying to stay optimistic and trust that everything happens for a reason and hopefully for the better.

Ups and Downs

So again, as usual, there isn't too much to share. The title of this section is Ups and Downs, so here are some ups we've had.

On Saturday, September 11th, Evan went to the Jordan River Temple to take out his endowments. What an amazing experience. All he could say was, "Wow....wow!" It was really awesome.

The following day, Sept. 12th, we celebrated our 1 year anniversary. It's crazy how quickly that year went by. What a great year it has been. Not easy, but worth every hard time we have been through. I love him so much.

Saturday, September 18th, Evan and I were sealed for time and all eternity in the Salt Lake Temple. We have officially began our forever family. So far it is just Evan and I, but if he's all I get...I'll take it.

As far as our downs, it's really just one.

The first part of October, we were suprised when our favorite monthly visitor didn't come. I have not been "late" in two years, so we started thinking...could it be? I decided that I was not going to get too hopeful because I knew I would be upset if things didn't go the way I wanted them to. So we took a test...negative. This didn't disuade us from believing it could still be possible, especially Evan.

Another week passed, still no visit, so another test....negative.

At this point, I was starting to get disapointed, but still I was getting more hopeful than I should have and wanted to.

So, in order to put my mind (and heart) at ease, I decided the best thing to do is get a blood test at the doctors office. That would be the best thing to do.

So we made an appt. to see the doctor on a friday. She seemed pretty hopeful, which made me more hopeful. But we had to wait over the weekend for the test to come back.

So, Evan and I started planning how we were going to tell our families, who we would tell first, what we would post on facebook, changes we would have to make, etc.

So, monday finally came and no call by lunch time, so I decided to call them.

I asked for my results and heard, "Yeah, sorry to tell you, but you are not expecting at this time. Good luck."

I was devestated and angry. I was at work, so I couldn't break down and cry like I wanted to, I couldn't start yelling at myself for getting so hopeful like I wanted to, I couldn't hug my husband like I wanted to, I couldn't fall apart like I wanted to.

Instead, I called Evan, told him the news and went back to work.

That night, while Evan was at work I cried and cried and cried. How could this be? We are ready for a baby! We would be awesome parents! There are so many people who have kids and then beat them or shake them to death. I would never do that, so why can't it be my turn?

After I got out all my angry frustrated tears out, I cried different tears. Tears of my thankfulness for a Heavenly Father who has a plan, no matter how different it may be from my ideas. Tears for my knowledge of the plan of happiness and that no matter what this life may bring us, I will be given an opportunity in the next life to have children. Tears for my knowledge that families can and will be together forever. MY family will be together forever.

It is still difficult, I haven't told many people this story, not that it's traumatic or anything, probably more for the reason that it's NOT traumatic. Just a bump in the road really.

But it has taught me to continue to trust in my Heavenly Father. He know's what's best for me and my husband.

Thank goodness there is an iron rod to hold on to, cause all these curves, turns, and ups and downs, really make it hard to stay on the path.

Oh Boy!

There never seems to be much to talk about on here, so I don't update it often, but I guess I have some news to share.

First of all, I am leaving Winco!!! And I am sooooo happy about it. It has been a good job overall, but I seriously could not see myself wearing a hairnet and hat to work everyday for the rest of my life. I got a new job. I will be working at the new downtown Target. I am so excited. I start on the sales floor, doing who-knows-what for now, but there are tons of opportunities for growth. I am really looking forward to it.

We are getting closer and closer to going to the temple to be sealed. Evan has finished all the temple prep classes, so now we are just waiting until we are closer to our year anniversary. Which, is less than a month away, so......WooHoo! I can't wait to be sealed to him forever!!!

We have been trying to start our family, but so far no luck. I have been told since I was 18 that it could be hard because of my PCOS, but we are still optimistic. We found out that Evan's sister Heidi was expecting again. I am happy for her, but when I first heard, I was really upset. It's hard to see someone get something that you want soooo bad. I shed a lot of tears over it. I wasn't angry or upset at Heidi, or any other pregnant woman for that matter. I was just wishing more than anything that I was in that same boat. That I had the same great news to share. I believe that our day will come. Hopefully soon. I can't wait to be a parent!

Other good news.... My sister Laci got engaged yesterday. She will be Mrs. Scott Barrett. They plan on getting married on January 1st, 2011. I am so happy for her and Scott. She has waited a long time for this and I know that things will be great for them!

I'm not sure what other news I have to share. But I do ask for you to keep us in your prayers. Evan has a meeting at work tomorrow, and I am a little afraid that they are going to tell them that the store he works at is closing. We have heard rumors that they are closing some Fresh Markets, but I am really hoping that isn't the case. We won't know til after tomorrow, so wish us luck! We have received so many blessings! I know that everything will work out. Heavenly Father has a plan. We just have to be patient and trust Him.

Not Much

Well, I really don't know what to say this month. I wish I had some exciting news to share, but things are pretty much the same around here.

One thing that is pretty cool is that Evan and I have started the temple prep class so that Evan can go to the temple and we can get sealed in September! I can't believe a year has almost come and gone. Time really flies. I can't begin to tell you how happy and excited I am to be able to be sealed to my husband and best friend!

It's also July which means Independance Day! It is by far my favorite holiday ever! I can't help but turn into some sappy cry baby when I hear those patriotic songs come on and see Old Glory wavin. I love it! God Bless America!!! Happy Birthday and Happy Independance Day!

Better Luck Next Time

So, I haven't been as good about doing things I love as much as I should. I have made little improvements though. That's better than nothing, right? Okay, so moving on.

I am kinda at a crossroads. I am not sure about what path I should be taking in my life right now. I have a good job, but the pay SUCKS! However, I am working my way up which will lead to more money. Downside is, I have been injured more at this job than at any other time in my life. Getting hurt puts me out of work and I don't get any type of sick leave for a year. (My year mark is Nov. 11th) A plus is that my insurance is AWESOME! We paid 68 cents for Evan's eye drops the other day. We also have insurance through Evan's work, so we are double covered which is a bonus. I like my job. I work hard. Plus, the longer I am there, the more stock I build. If I were to retire at age 55, I would have over 6 million in stock. So, what's the dilema you might say?

The problem is that I don't feel like this is what I am supposed to be doing. I would like to go back to school. Maybe study education again. I have thought about taking a course in medical coding and billing. I have thought about taking a nail technician course. I just don't know what to do. If I stay where I am, I won't be able to afford schooling. Even if I get financial aid, it will be hard.

The next problem...we really want to start a family. And those of you that have had children know the issues that go along with that, not to mention my polycystic ovarian syndrome and all that it involves.

So, with that on the table, I need some suggestions, thoughts, ideas, whatever. They would be greatly appreciated!

Ode to the olden days

Isn't it funny how when you are younger, you can't wait until your an adult so you can do what you want, etc. But, when you are an adult you wish sometimes that you can go back and redo some things. And even if you don't want to redo anything, you just wish you could go back and re-live some moments.

I used to write poetry all the time when I was a teen. I wasn't too bad either, but for some reason, I stopped.

I used to draw all the time just for fun, but have really only gone back to it when I needed something for a school thing.

I LOVED to photograph things, now I rarely pull out my camera.

I LOVED to scrapbook, but I don't do that anymore.

I used to write random little notes to people, just because, now I only do it when there is an occasion.

I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this except that I hate that things that once made us happy become trivial when we are older because we have more "important things" to do.

I have determined that I need to make a resolution to do more things that I love. I need to set time aside to scrapbook or create things like I used to because it makes me happy.

I also tend to be a people pleaser, which isn't bad, but can be overboard sometimes. I tend to forget about myself and even worse, my husband.

I am so grateful for my friend Lisa's website with her friends called Dating Divas. It has the best ideas for activities to do with your spouse. I haven't taken the time to do those things, but I am going to. The last one they posted was about leaving love notes, so I printed the paper and am going to make the little notebook for my husband. I need to be better about showing him and telling him how much I love him.

I have also in the last week enjoyed a wonderful weekend with my mom. My husband and I were over for dinner and we were looking at pictures and I kept thinking back to different things we did as kids. For example: I remember going in my brothers room upstairs with him and my sister and we used to sneak from his room to my parents room across the hall, then down the hall to the kitchen and around the kitchen table til we got to my dad's recliner. We would sit there and try not to laugh because we though we were sooooo sneaky. We used to play under my brothers captains bed with cars and legos. My sister and I would sneak to the bottom of the stairs and see how far up we could go without being caught- though we ususally got the giggles and would have to run back to our room so we wouldn't be heard and get in trouble. My dad and I used to chase each other in the house. We have one corner that was the safe zone, otherwise, you were on your own.

It was so nice to sit down and look back on some fun times. It was nice to have some quality time with my mom.

With mother's day here tomorrow, I want to wish my mom a very Happy Mother's Day. Thank you for being so receptive to me and my needs. You always know when I am stressed or worried about something. You are always supportive of the choices I make. I have been very blessed to have you as a mother. I couldn't have made a better choice. I love you!

To all other mom's out there.....Happy Mother's Day!

Spring has Sprung

It's official. Spring is here. I love it! I love pretty much everything about spring, except the allergies that come with it. Flowers start blooming. Bugs come out. ( I could do without those too!) Grass starts to turn green. Trees bloom. There isn't anything better. It makes me grateful for all of the things that I have. I have been given so many blessings. I had a great experience yesterday that reminded me of that. My father in law had torn his rotator cuff and so we were at Walgreens waiting to fill his prescription. There was a guy in line behind us that was on the phone asking (more like begging really) family and friends to wire him forty dollars. He was explaining his situation to the different people he talked to. He had just moved here from Texas and apparently had a infant daughter that was ill. She had stopped breathing at one point during the day and he was waiting for his wife to get here. They were going to stay in a hotel until the morning when he would be able to get some money. They were twenty-five dollars short for the hotel and needed the rest of the money to get formula for the baby. He explained to each of them that they would have to sleep in the car if they couldn't get the money. He was also trying to get them to understand that it gets colder here than in Texas. Still, he had no luck. I heard him talking to his wife on the phone saying that he was sorry he had failed, that he had found no one to give them money. He told her that he knew the bishop was praying for them, but that it didn't mean money was just going to fall into there hands. He had just moved here and didn't know anyone. I couldn't help but feel sympathy for him and I felt compelled to help him. I went to the atm and got forty dollars out that he needed. I went over to the man and pulled him aside. I told him that I had overheard his situation and that I knew that people were praying for him and that I wanted to be the person to answer his prayers. He asked if I wanted his phone number so that I can get the money back, but I told him that blessings were more important to me and that I hoped it could help. He couldn't believe it and thanked me for pulling him aside and not doing it in front of the other people because it was embarrassing for him. I couldn't hold back tears as I talked to him and felt that I was prompted by the spirit to help him. I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve others and for the gospel that teaches us to listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I love the gospel and the blessings that we receive when we follow it. I am so grateful for my family, especially my husband. I'm grateful that he holds the priesthood and is able to give me blessings when I need them. I am grateful for Easter and for what it represents. The Savior being resurrected. It is a great reminder to us all to do what we need to so that we can return to our Heavenly Father again. Happy Easter and Spring everyone!